Table for One, Volume I

I am a single man.   I have been single my entire life, though I do not lack for the experience of having shared intimacy (and in one case, a roof) with other members of the gender opposite mine.   When I was in my twenties, and through my thirties, many thought of bachelors like me as the “ideal”, and even seemed to look at me and my kind with a bit of envy, as my father did shortly before he departed this mortal coil.   As I’ve aged, however – I’m in my late forties now – people are starting to look at me differently.   They see the growing presence of gray streaks in my long hair and in my beard (when I decide to grow it out), the look at the texture of my facial skin and my hands which suggest advancing age, they observe my darkening vocal tones and speech, and see me alone, with no one in tow.   Some back off from me as a result, I suspect, thinking that if I’m this old and still alone, then something must really be wrong with me.   I’m seen as a bit creepy, a bit – oh, what’s the word? – off.   Something must really be wrong with me, they likely think.   

The truth of it is, I never really made pursuing a life partner my life’s pursuit.   Sure, life for two can have its advantages, especially if the relationship represents a perfect match (which I submit, are extremely rare.)   And life for two, especially if that life is certified with a marriage license, has a bevy of goodies not available to singles: tax breaks, special legal treatments like privileged communications, increased social standing, etc.    Some sources, such as from authors like Bella De Paulo, cite over 1,100 married-exclusive legal and fiscal benefits.   Marital supremacy rears itself in many other way as well: employment, military, and other sectors of society are affected by this yay-for-marriage attitude.   

I don’t need to get into, however, all of the pitfalls and pratfalls of life for two.   The emotional roller-coasters which ride on, and on, and on.   The constant compromises.   The realization that we’re growing apart from each other and unwilling to acknowledge it, lest we lose all those bennies – the relationship of convenience.   The social ramifications associated with broken relationships and divorce.   I’ve been there, and done that.   And I’m no longer in an active pursuit mode.  

As I spent some time reading through Bella De Paulo’s Singlism, I’m reminded of the lyrics of a song written by the great tune-smith Rupert Holmes.   Lullaby For Myself, which you can hear off of 1977’s Streisand Superman, spends most of the song extolling the virtues of the unattached life:

>You don’t have to compromise your taste for champagne and cheese when your partner craves the plainness of pork chops;

>You learn that twice the earning doesn’t necessarily mean twice the fun;

>No one is marking your time when you come home at four in the morning;

>And many other things for which you should consult with the lyric sheet contained within the album.

He’s leading us singles right down what he thinks is the primrose path.   Sure, the song’s subject is female, having likely been commissioned by Streisand for either the album or for the previous year’s A Star Is Born.  But it applies to us males, as well: no jailer to mark your time, your refrigerator can contain whatever you want it to – including unintentional science projects – without reprisals, and other features of single-minded freedom.    He makes it sound like yeah, this is the perfect life (which I’m agreeing with – right on Rupert!  Sing it, Barbra!)   But then, the last verse of the song sends the singleton’s hope for BJS-branded affirmation right over the cliff:  she’s singing that she would be grateful for “one damned man” to “share the need to be alone with me.”   With that line, Holmes encapsulates the common perception, at least to academics like De Paulo, of older singles in today’s hitched world.   We say we love to fly alone, but secretly pine for somebody to fly with.  

I’m left to ask:   What about those that don’t have a burning need for someone “to be alone with me”?  What about those that are the “self-contained and self-content” types?  Who is writing music from that perspective?  I don’t hear too much of it, at least from the artists I listen to (which are comparatively old-school compared to what is coming out today). 

Singles can and do lead perfectly purpose-driven, full lives, without the need of a partner.    Their successes in life prove that coupling is not a necessity to greatness or a fulfilled life.   Remember that preacher from the Levant from about 2,000 years ago, whose name is screamed from on high by some of the world’s biggest hypocrites and frauds, but whose example is led by some of our greatest examples of humanity?  He was a singleton.  So was Beethoven, the Wright Brothers, and Thoreau.  Alvin Ailey and Nikola Tesla are also among the ranks of the unhitched.  Many, many others who have achieve greatness while never having taken that fateful walk down the alley can be easily googled.  

I’ll have much more to say about this topic in the coming months.   It may make its way in my other blogs, so stay tuned. 

If Barry Gibb was a Heavy Metal Singer...

...he'd probably sound a little bit like this.  

Wax Audio has done it again.  I thought that the Metallica/Herbie Hancock mashup was the pinnacle of this art form - but he's topped himself with this one.   Amazingly, the songs actually work together musically - same key, the melody amazingly fits the chords, even Robin's and Maurice's harmonies work with what Angus/Malcolm and company are laying down, and the rhythmic syncopation between the two songs fits together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.    Yes, I was actually doing a bit of the head bang to this put-together masterpiece.

 Perhaps the biggest reason why Wax Audio's mashups work so well is because the guy who puts them together is a musician himself.   Based out of Australia (where, incidentally, both subjects of this mashup hail from), Tom (his real name) played guitar in several bands during his earlier years - and this is in the Australian pub-rock scene which is known for being one of the most vibrant, and demanding, live music club scenes on the planet.   This background gives him an advantage in terms of musical knowledge, not only in terms of genres and bands but how music works from a theory level:  chords, melodies, structures, etc.    This, combined with his mastery of editing techniques likely culled from his full-time occupation as a video editor, provides him with an enviable skill set.  

He now has a fourth album of mash-up-pieces, available for free (no less!) at www.waxaudio.com.au.   Known as Mashphonic, he delves into the music of ZZ Top, Madonna, and other songs familiar and not-so-familiar.    Check it out - you can't beat the price, and while you're at it, show a bit of financial support by purchasing one of the newly-released T-shirts.   I intend to.